The Top Ten Nicknames in NBA History

It’s not enough to just make it to the NBA and play basketball at the highest level there is, you have to be memorable. You have to give the fans something they can cling to, something they can personalize about you to relate to you. Nicknames, of which there are no shortage of in the NBA, serve to further cement a basketball legacy. There are players that, had it not been for their nickname, would have long faded into NBA obscurity as if they were a used VHS copy of “Blue Chips” sitting in the back room of a soon-to-be-Chipotle, Blockbuster Video store. Then there are others, whose nicknames are but the cherry on top of their illustrious careers, and also the in-betweeners, players who had or are having serviceable careers and just have that “it” factor, any who, enough with the chit chat let’s get to that list.

10. Gary Payton – The Glove

The reference is simple, your offense is the hand, his defense is the glove, good luck! Gary Payton’s on the ball defense was so intense that he left behind a mile long wake of recently rockless point guards. He was the scourge of the Puget Sound and later Lake Michigan. Point guards everywhere beware, your handle is suspect when the Glove is d’ing you up and it won’t be long before he reaches into your cookie jar and exposes you and your inability to cross half court with him in your path.

9. Vinnie Johnson – The Microwave
Vinnie Johnson, by all rights a good player, not a superstar by any means but one of the above mentioned serviceable players. His nickname, however, fits his playing style to a T. Nestle recommends that Hot Pockets be microwaved for 2 minutes or 3.5 minutes for two. In 3.5 minutes Vinnie “The Microwave” Johnson could  change the face of the game. He was the guy off the bench that could heat up so quickly on offense that it his opponents, both NBA players and chicken nuggets, were left reeling.

8. Pete Maravich – Pistol Pete
The Pistol, Pistol Pete, either one, it doesn’t matter that’s what Pete Maravich was known as. No one in the history of known humanity has referred to him as “Pete Maravich,” that name will eternally be preceded by the word Pistol. When he was born his mother called him Pistol. Wikipedia will tell you that he was given the nickname Pistol because of his shooting motion being similar to a gunslinger’s drawing motion, in that both begin at the hip. Nope, sorry internet, I’m going with the theory that he was born “Pistol Pete Maravich.”

7. Dennis Rodman – The Worm
Younger readers of Offcourtissues will recognize Rodman for his more recent diplomatic work but believe it or not this ambassador used to play in the NBA. The Worm, it really is a ridiculous nickname, but somehow it fits Rodman so well. Rodman’s mother gave him the nickname because he wriggled around while playing pinball as a child. Fair enough. Who knows how or why this nickname followed the Worm to the NBA but it did and we are all greater for it.

6. Tyrone Bogues – Muggsy Bogues
Admit it, you thought his name really was Muggsy. Tyrone Bogues sells you a used car. Muggsy Bogues locks you up on D and shreds you on offense, all while barely reaching your belt buckle. Nicknamed Muggsy because his defense was so tight it was as if he was mugging you, Bogues played the bulk of his career with the Charlotte Hornets. I can not 100% confirm this, but I do believe that as part of some sort of cross promotional stunt, during the 1991-92 season Muggsy rode an actual hornet onto the court for short around.

5. Larry Bird – Larry Legend/The Hick from French Lick
 It’s almost unfair, Larry Bird is the proud owner of two nicknames that both deserve to be on this list. He also deserves some form of extra credit for somehow avoiding an avian based nickname, I mean his last name IS Bird, and honestly the dude kind of looks… well bird-like. As far as his actual nickname(s), anytime you have Legend as or part of your nickname, well that’s just awesome. As for the Hick from French Lick, well that’s just hilarious. Not only does Larry look bird-like, but he kind of looks hick-like, and who honestly names their town French Lick? It has the word Lick in it!!

4. Bryant Reeves – Big Country
Bryant Reeves isn’t necessarily the player on this list with the most storied NBA career, but c’mon, Big Country! How fitting of a nickname is that? Reeves was given the nickname because of his… WHO CARES, BIG COUNTRY!!! To look at Bryant Reeves is to look into the soul of America’s heartland. Look into his eyes and see wild mustangs roaming beautiful pastures, grazing on lush green grass as the sun sets upon a majestic ridge line. The heart of a bear, the soul of a mountain and the spirit of an oak tree, that is Big Country.

3. Kobe Bryant – Black Mamba
Kobe Bryant is one of the most polarizing players in the NBA today, if you’re a Lakers’ fan, you love him, if you’re not, chances are you aren’t to fond of him. Even his most steadfast of detractors in their heart of hearts can not question his game though, and his nickname is as strong as his jump shot. The Black Mamba, such a rarely used nickname but definitely top of the list when it comes to coolness. Bryant falls back a few notches because this nickname was self-given, which let’s be honest is kind of lame, but hey we’re all letting him get away with it. Black Mamba, definitely the best nickname playing today.

2. Darryl Dawkins – Chocolate Thunder
Remember when everyone wanted to see somebody dunk so hard that they broke a backboard? What were we thinking? Sure it’s cool for a few seconds but then reality sets in, as does the delay of equipment managers scrambling to find a replacement basket. Forget that second part, stick to the first, breaking backboards is awesome and Chocolate Thunder was the pioneer. We also can’t forget that Dawkins was given his nickname from none other than Stevie Wonder which has to be good for something right?

1. Earvin Johnson – Magic Johnson
Could it really be anyone else? When your nickname stops being your nickname and starts being your actual name, well you my friend have been branded. Magic Johnson was born with a lot of gifts, height, athletic build, unsurpassed court vision, but a non-vomit-inducing first name was not one of them. Seriously, who names their poor child Earvin (sorry all you Earvins out there)? Magic was, for lack of a better term, a magician on the basketball court, capable of creating plays where they had no business existing. The name Magic is so fitting of Magic that it’s impossible to have him anywhere on this list but number one.

The top ten NBA nicknames, I have given them to you. Sure there are a few debates to be had and trust me there were some very difficult omissions but I have my reasons. There are some very iconic nicknames that everyone knows but just don’t have a lot behind them like Dr. J, Iceman etc. Then there are those that are just plain hilarious like What Mamba, but that’s just trying to hard. That’s the thing about lists, they’re made to spark debate so have at it.